Welcome to my blog! I'm excited to start this epic class (pun intended). I hope to learn a lot of new things from the class and from everyone else's blogs!
I give free concerts to whoever is riding in the passenger seat in the car with me. This is one of my favorite songs to sing to whether I'm in the car, house, etc. Enjoy!
I did have a number of questions at the end of the Ramayana. I'm glad you're taking the task of writing an ending upon yourself. As you mentioned in your introduction, there are a number of characters whose fates are left unmentioned, and I am looking forward to reading about them. I am also looking forward to you explaining some more of the characters emotions towards the end of the story. The idea of all the characters attending therapy sessions is a great one. I also like how the writer of the story is the therapist, I hope he has some interesting thoughts throughout the story. I have confidence that you will come up with a satisfying story.
Thanks so much for sharing. I really enjoyed reading this story, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Thanks for sharing, keep up the good work.
Hello! I love that you are creating this as a counseling type story! I one day hope to be a professional councilor, and this is why I chose your story to read for my free choice! The tittle of your storybook is what caught my eye! While reading Ramayana I did become confused about a lot of things, and I'm glad that you are going to address some of those things. I think it's awesome that you were able to create all of those questions! I look forward to reading more of your storybook, but for now I hope you have fun writing it and that you channel your inner creativity!!
This entry reminded me of how a reality television show would begin with a recap of last week’s episode to fill the viewer in on the latest drama. The way you introduced the plot and the current situations with so many rhetorical questions does a great job of invoking curiosity from the reader; however, I wonder if you had a couple of less questions if it still would have offered the same effect. It is usually best to remain concise in order to maintain the interest of the reader. On another note, as I got to the commentary of the family therapist, I was intrigued as to what answers were going to be provided. It reminded me similarities to a Dr. Phil episode how he critically analyzes relationships and motives. Essentially, this entry modernized the story of these families. I wanted to keep reading about what scandalous information had the potential to be unveiled next, just like a reality television show. Great job!
As soon as I realized what you were doing with your storybook, I started laughing out loud. There were SO many questions I had after reading all of the Ramayana (even after both versions!) and I would like some answers :) . The one I have wondered the most about is Lakshmana's first wife Urmila. Did she just magically disappear? Why did Rama tell the rakshasa that his brother had no wife while they were in exile? Hopefully you will be able to answer these questions! On the format, as I tried to read though the two massive paragraphs with tiny font, my eyes got lost at least five times. You may want to consider breaking this up into more paragraphs, increasing the font size, or changing the font. I look forward to your stories! If they are anything like the introduction, they will be great! I am curious, how will you break up the introduction into the three stories? I am excited to find out.
Your introduction reminded me of how a reality television show would begin with a recap of last week’s episode. The way you introduced the plot and the current situations with so many rhetorical questions does a great job of invoking curiosity from the reader; however, I wonder if you had a couple of less questions if it still would have offered the same effect. It is usually best to remain concise in order to maintain the interest of the reader. On another note, as I got to the commentary of the family therapist, I was intrigued as to what answers were going to be provided. For the story, I love that you started off with a picture of the therapist, this gives the reader an image of what the therapist looks like before they begin the story. I think it is perfect to tell the background of the sage and how exactly that came to be. You did a great job constructing the story and allowing it to flow through dialogue. Great first story Bayan! I think the addition of the *knock knock* wrapped up the story nicely and gives a great transition into the next story. Great read!
Hey Bayan! I really like the background you used for your blog! I love all sorts of nature themes! The song is pretty good BTW. I will be using your blog as one of my favorites.
Bayan, I really liked the layout of your storybook. I felt that the color contrasts and setup of your storybook provided a very clean site! I think it is awesome that you are making the original Ramayana. The questions at the beginning were an excellent way to setup the storybook. I had this same questions when I was reading the Ramayana. I personally did not like the way Sita and Rama did not end up together because I felt that the entire story was pointless. Furthermore, I thought it was a great idea to have a first person story of Doctor Valmiki talking about the issues of the Ramayana characters. I did not really think about Urmila after Lakshmana left with Rama but it is a great reminder. I was amazed that Rama’s brother would be so quick to go into exile so I was glad to read your story about Urmila and Lakshmana. Overall, I feel this is one of the best ways to relay the information from the Ramayana. I am looking forward to reading more!
Hi love! I want to start of saying how much I love that our themes are the same. i mean I automatically went to this one and stuck with it because it's super girly and I love all the colors. I love the song you chose except the fact that Mina sings it all the time so now I'm kind of over it so I blame her:) Overall, you are one creative bee and I love all your stories because you really shine through as a writer as well as artist! Take care!
Bayan, I am here to comment about your music video. I really like this music video. I hear this song in the radio all the time while I am driving but never had a chance to watch the music video. I however did not imagine the music video to be the way it is when I was listening to this song every time. Thank you for sharing!
I hear this song come over the radio all the time and I always find myself singing along. It's a very catchy tune and it is easy to see why it is constantly playing. This was the first time I have seen the video though. I like how he inserts the segments of film about super heroes coming to the rescue into the original movie film. Thanks for sharing!
I really love this song! No lie, the other day I heard it on the radio but I was to slow on getting my phone out and was not able to Shazam the song quick enough. Now it is saved on on Spotify Account! Thank you! It’s a very nice song and I like to listen to it when I get stressed!
Hi Bayan, I actually heard this song on the radio for the first time today on my way back to Norman! I really liked it, and it was nice to hear it. I was excited to actually find out the name of it and who it was by because I wasn't paying too much attention when I was in the car.
Hey Bayan, I really enjoyed watching and listening the music you posted on your comment wall. I have listened to this music before and it is on my playlist. Another thing, I brother at times sings this song. Nice one. This was a really nice song. Nice music and thanks for sharing.
Bayan, Although your storybook may not meant to be funny, I found it very humorous. Just thinking about Urmila and Lakshmana in family therapy was very amusing. Still, I believe the characters of the Ramayana are very much in need of therapy. The title of your storybook, Ramayana Counseling, Inc., was very catchy and clever and it is actually what drew me to check out your blog. The counseling session was actually one of my favorite storytelling posts that I wrote so I can see why you chose it! I love that you included the time of the appointment. These small details are what really bring a story to the next level. You use great vocabulary and put italics to great use in order to distinguish dialogue from narrative. Good choice! I cannot wait to read more of this satirical play on the Ramayana. I love how you ended your story with the *knock knock* - such a great literary device to use sound for emphasis (note to self). I love that we learn so much from one another's stories!
2. Bayan, I am here to comment about your music video. I really like this music video. I hear this song in the radio all the time while I am driving but never had a chance to watch the music video. I however did not imagine the music video to be the way it is when I was listening to this song every time. Thank you for sharing!
HI Bayan, I've never heard this song! From reading peoples comments, it seems to be playing on the radio. I am so out of touch with the latest music. D: I really like it. It is very uplifting. I am sure it will be stuck in my head all morning! Thank you for sharing your music with us.
Back again :) This time I am here to leave a comment about your storybook! I am not sure if you meant for your storybook to be funny, but it cracked me up. I haven't read a storybook that has made it like therapy and I loved that you thought of that! I like how the name of your storybook sounds like an official counseling center. It is awesome! I like how you have both narrative and dialogue in your story, but what really makes it great is that you used italics to distinguish the difference between the two. You have done a good job at creating continuity between the stories and connecting them. I like the design of your website too :) You're doing awesome! Keep it up!
Hi there, I wanted to leave you some comments about "Urmila and Lakshmana." Based off of the title, I was hoping that you would tell Urmila's story, and you did! I have read her story in another person's project, and I found it really fascinating. Your retelling is just as wonderful even though there is not as much information about the character Urmila.
I love how you began the story with a description of Valmiki and his thoughts. I am really curious to know more about the unusual beginnings that you mentioned in the story. Will you include any last words from Valmiki at the end of the storybook or in the other stories?
In regards to formatting, I appreciated that you italicized the character's dialogues. While I was reading, I could easily distinguish between the dialogue and the narration. Also, the picture at the beginning is a great way to set the scene of Valmiki's office.
Can't wait to see how Valmiki helps the other characters!
Hey Bayan, first off I just wanted to comment on the style and background of your storybook. Many of the storybooks I have gotten to see now are super extravagant and overwhelming, but I like the simplicity of yours. I don't get sensory overload when I attempt to read the story which is a plus. I like the extra detail we obtain about the retelling of the story in your project. I liked hearing about Valmiki's thoughts, ideas, and surroundings. In addition, I thought the image you included with your story was perfect and fitting. I like it when people carefully pick which picture they included in their story as it can really help me as a reader envision his entire character. All in all, I enjoyed this story about Valmiki and look forward to more of your postings. I will also take note of the design of your storybook when I take Laura’s other class, Myth-Folklore. Thanks for sharing.
Hello! I chose your storybook to look at this week as my free choice from the "other" class so I went into your storybook with little background in Indian stories. Despite this, your introduction has captured my attention and my imagination and I really look forward to reading more (I am writing comments after every section so I have yet to read the story). As a psychology major, your concept caught my attention and made me laugh a bit. Well done on picking a fun and captivating storytelling topic!
I love that you decided to highlight some of the lesser known characters in your first story. I really enjoy it when people expand on characters that normally get brushed over and I could tell you took care to research these characters so that you could capture what they would be feeling during the session. I like your writing style, and I hope to come back when you have new stories to read!
My favorite storybooks are the ones that make me feel like I'm reading something Im'm not supposed to, like it's gossip or just plain none of my business, so your storybook fits the bill exactly! I love the idea of taking something kind classic and changing it around to make the characters and plot more interesting for a modern audience, and your writing does a super great job of this. I read the Urmila and Lakshmana story, and I liked it right off the bat! I loved how you made it seem so realistic and like it was just any normal day, except today they had therapy. I really like when stories are told in an everyday manner so that I feel like I could easily become a part of the story if I just walked into the setting. I can't wait to read more of you storybook as the semester progresses!
I know I keep coming back, but I really do enjoy your storybook! It's pretty dang awesome. This time I read Sita and Rama. I am quite happy to see them in therapy. Man, do they have some serious relationship issues involving trust. You did an awesome job at making me feel sad for Sita when she was traumatized by being kidnapped and then Rama not trusting her. Did you want Rama to just feel regret immediately because Sita was so sad? I think it would be a little more spicy or interesting if you added a bit of anger on Sita's side. I mean, who wouldn't be angry if your husband is treating you like crap. But, your storytelling is so dang realistic and I love that I can read the thoughts, too. I feel like i'm just sitting in the therapy session with them. You're doing an amazing job and I'm more than sure I'll be back to read more if you write any more stories. Keep up the awesome work! It is really paying off in the stories you write in your storybook.
I like how you used your introduction to highlight all of the unanswered questions from the Ramayana. I wondered many of these myself, so I am glad you are taking the time to give your idea about what may have occurred. The counseling approach seems like a great way to explore these questions.
I read your story of Urmila and Lakshmana, and was very impressed at how well you described the scene of a therapy session. The whole conversation was very believable and engaging. I had always wondered about Urmila and Lakshmana's relationship, especially since there was a reference that Rama had made about Lakshmana being unwed when he was being harassed by Shurpanakha. The knocking at the door was a great cliff hanger and makes the reader want to read the next installment. This was a very well written story and I was happy to read it.
I love your concept of your story! I too had a lot of unanswered questions from the Ramayana. Your introduction was done so well, and made me want to read your stories. I also thought that your idea was so cool. Like, I thought it would be great to see the characters in therapy. You have a great grasp of your characters. I think you did a really great job. Your dialogue was skillfully done. I also thought that your cliff hanging ending was so great! I really enjoyed your Storybook and I'll have to come back and read more of your stories. Great job!
I love this story! I love the way you altered the ending to create a happier ending. I feel the same way you did. I actually created a story (not included in my storybook) in which they actually end up together. The end is very romantic! I can picture it clearly! I also like how you put it in a forgiveness from Rama. In the original story I thought that Rama was a bit of a jerk for just pushing her away. I feel like after all they went through she deserved much more than just a push put of his life. I also like how you made this into a therapy session. After all it would not be such a bad idea for them to actually go through therapy! I also love the image you used! The couch on the image actually looks like the ones you see in movies when people go in for therapy.
I like how you start off your introduction giving the reader a little background of where this storybook is going to go, without being obvious. This is very helpful to me since I am from the Myth and Folklore class. Your introduction was amazing! I really feel like I know just enough about the history of these two families to be able to follow along and connect the dots. I kind of got the sense and feel that this introduction was adding up like a reality show pilot show. Something like “Family Counseling: Royalty Edition”, and Dr. Valmiki is the celebrity therapist, making all the big bucks. I look forward to reading more and I know that there will be a lot of drama to come. Great job with the introduction! I’m looking forward to reading and hearing more from Dr. Valmiki and the two complicated families. Great job, again!
Sidenote: I love the picture that you have on your introduction page. Makes me get a nice vibe and flashback to the early 2000's and watching MTV's cribs and Harry Potter. Great times, kids these days will never know! (:
I like how I can see what Dr. Valmiki looks like and what the feel of the environment and background is going to be throughout the story. I was wondering if this was going to be based in present day, or if it was going to set up more so in older times. Looks like I’ve got my answer. I am going to leave live comments below as I read your story. Hopefully you will be able to follow along.
He looked around him briefly before smiling slightly, recalling just how he got to this point in his life.
-- yay, a little background of the great doctor.
Becoming a family therapist would allow him to help others going through difficult times realize that there is always hope for better things ahead.
-- That’s great that he decided to turn his life circumstances and blessings into a way to give back and help others.
Urmila couldn’t help but smile as she responded. “Yes, we were married on a lovely, sunny afternoon with my sisters, Sita, Mandavi, Shrutakirti, and their husbands next to us. It was really such a memorable day.”
-- Great visual effect. I totally saw her smirk in my head as she reflected on her happy day.
I loved the rest of the story, I felt like I was there and I also felt like this sesson was going somewhere for the two of them. Perfect ending with the *knock, knock* at the end. We know who that is.
Hello, Bayan! I really liked the premise of your storybook! I have seen examples of therapy themed projects in the past, and I think you executed yours really well. Your introduction did a great job of setting up the rest of your stories, and I was really excited to see that you were using Valmiki as a narrator. Your first story was excellent! I thought it was neat that your story was third person, making a shift from your introduction. I liked the framed feeling of the narrative. Likewise, your narrative flowed smoothly, helped along by wonderful descriptions and word choice. It was cool to see some focus put on Laskshmana and Urmila. I completely missed her mention in the Ramayana (I wasn’t a huge fan, so I didn’t read incredibly carefully), but I did get to see her a little more in Arni’s the Missing Queen. The connection between them was palpable in your writing, and you did a really good job of making it believable. You’d make a great therapist! Overall, I genuinely enjoyed your storybook! I will absolutely be back to read more!
I read your first story a little while ago, so I had to come back to check out your next instalment. You seamlessly transitioned from Valmiki’s counseling of Lakshmana and Urmila to that of Rama and Sita. I was also put off by how Rama rejected Sita in the original story because he was pressured into doing so. I thought that Rama should have shown more compassion towards the love of his life, especially since she was taken against her will. But I guess that was just how things were back in ancient India. You did a great job in creating a “happily ever after” ending that the couple so rightly deserved. Just like the first story, I love how you capture the feeling of a real life counseling session. Also, your transitions are very well done. Now I want to know who just arrived for the next session. Are Lakshmana and Urmila still going to be a part of the next story?
Great job so far on your storybook. I really like it! You are one hundred percent correct. The reader most definitely does not get any of the emotional side of the characters. That was probably one of the biggest things I didn’t like about the epics we read. It just seem like in two lines something drastic happened and there was no reaction from the characters. So I really like how you are giving us that side of the story.
I do have a few things to note. I feel as though your introduction is a little redundant. You have the paragraph asking all the question but then the therapist sort of asks them a second time. Maybe you could have the whole introduction be the therapist speaking? That way you could cut back on the things you said twice. Another small thing you could do to the first story is put the picture somewhere in the middle of the text where appropriate. That way there isn’t just a huge block of text the reader is reading.
Hello Bayan, I decided to come back to your storybook this week for my free choice, and I was not disappointed. I read your second story today and I was so drawn in that you had my heart breaking with the characters' a little bit (in a good way). This story is extremely well done, and the counseling format really allowed it to shine. I liked that you were not afraid to deviate from the originally ending and make the story go how you wanted it to. I really appreciate the creativity and boldness that it takes to do so! I do think it would be nice if you expanded this story a little bit. The session seemed to flow a little too easily which made it slightly harder to believe. The ease does kind of fit the situation though, so not bad if you do not change it, just a suggestion. Overall well done and I look forward to coming back and reading your next story next week.
I decided to read the story Dasharatha’s wives. I loved this story and let me say this again, I love how you use the therapy style format for writing your stories. I have done a couple of these story formats myself. I have never really focused much of my attention on Kaikeyi until I read your story. I like how you changed it to where she is no longer seen as a bad character. I also like how you drew emphasis on her mother instincts. It is the perfect excuse to give her cause a significant reason for doing what she did. I like the image you used. I like how the image looks more like a realistic image rather than a cartoon. It gives your story a more up to date story. It makes it easier to actually imagine the therapy session happening in real life. Overall loved your story!
I chose your blog as a free choice this week. It was a great choice. It was very interesting. I read the first entry about Lakshmana and Urmila. I am glad you gave a little more information about Urmila. I didn’t find too much about her throughout the original Ramayana reading, she just kind of feel off the radar. Thanks for shedding a little light on her character. I am interested to see how the session went with the other family members. I will finish those readings in the last weeks of free choice. I liked the image you chose for the therapist. He looked wise and seemed liked he had an understanding disposition. The only thing I could offer is if you had to add another story you could have the four brothers all in for a therapy session. I’m sure each of them could benefit from a counseling session. Excellent work!
Hello Bayan, I enjoyed reading your story of Ramayana Counseling. I enjoyed reading those kind of stories because I find these creative. I chose your story as one of my free choice because I found the topic interesting. It was nice how you came up with so many different questions. I also had many question from the Ramayana. I found the background of the story very cool and the theme itself was good too. I really like the song that shared with us. Great choice. In addition to that, I have that song on my playlist now, no joke. Overall, you did a good job on connecting your stories together that was a really nice idea. I did like the creativity of the design as well. You did a great work, keep it up. I am looking forward to read more of your stories. Thanks for sharing. Good work, Bayan.
I had to come back and read some more of your stories. I like how you are focused on the Rama and Sita stories and what revolves around them. I like to read your stories because it gives me so many different ways to picture them and all the other characters. I love it. This week I read Urmila and Lakshamana. I wanted to read this one because I honestly do not remember who Urmila was. When I found out that Urmila was actually Lakshamana’s wife I got more idea to create stories! I enjoy focusing on characters that do not really receive much attention. This would have been an interesting story to talk about. They are one of the most forgotten couples in the story! I feel like a lot of the info about Urmila that I know has just came from your story. Overall amazing story!
Hi Bayan! I decided to come back and reconnect with you because you’re an amazing writer! Your stories were awesome this semester! You are also an awesome friend. I actually have gotten to meet you in person and you are an awesome person. Keep up your cool writing skills. I hope to stay in contact with you. The imagery you used was also amazing!
Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI did have a number of questions at the end of the Ramayana. I'm glad you're taking the task of writing an ending upon yourself. As you mentioned in your introduction, there are a number of characters whose fates are left unmentioned, and I am looking forward to reading about them. I am also looking forward to you explaining some more of the characters emotions towards the end of the story. The idea of all the characters attending therapy sessions is a great one. I also like how the writer of the story is the therapist, I hope he has some interesting thoughts throughout the story. I have confidence that you will come up with a satisfying story.
Thanks so much for sharing. I really enjoyed reading this story, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Thanks for sharing, keep up the good work.
Andrew
Hello! I love that you are creating this as a counseling type story! I one day hope to be a professional councilor, and this is why I chose your story to read for my free choice! The tittle of your storybook is what caught my eye! While reading Ramayana I did become confused about a lot of things, and I'm glad that you are going to address some of those things. I think it's awesome that you were able to create all of those questions! I look forward to reading more of your storybook, but for now I hope you have fun writing it and that you channel your inner creativity!!
ReplyDeleteBayan,
ReplyDeleteThis entry reminded me of how a reality television show would begin with a recap of last week’s episode to fill the viewer in on the latest drama. The way you introduced the plot and the current situations with so many rhetorical questions does a great job of invoking curiosity from the reader; however, I wonder if you had a couple of less questions if it still would have offered the same effect. It is usually best to remain concise in order to maintain the interest of the reader. On another note, as I got to the commentary of the family therapist, I was intrigued as to what answers were going to be provided. It reminded me similarities to a Dr. Phil episode how he critically analyzes relationships and motives. Essentially, this entry modernized the story of these families. I wanted to keep reading about what scandalous information had the potential to be unveiled next, just like a reality television show. Great job!
As soon as I realized what you were doing with your storybook, I started laughing out loud. There were SO many questions I had after reading all of the Ramayana (even after both versions!) and I would like some answers :) . The one I have wondered the most about is Lakshmana's first wife Urmila. Did she just magically disappear? Why did Rama tell the rakshasa that his brother had no wife while they were in exile? Hopefully you will be able to answer these questions!
ReplyDeleteOn the format, as I tried to read though the two massive paragraphs with tiny font, my eyes got lost at least five times. You may want to consider breaking this up into more paragraphs, increasing the font size, or changing the font.
I look forward to your stories! If they are anything like the introduction, they will be great!
I am curious, how will you break up the introduction into the three stories? I am excited to find out.
Bayan,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction reminded me of how a reality television show would begin with a recap of last week’s episode. The way you introduced the plot and the current situations with so many rhetorical questions does a great job of invoking curiosity from the reader; however, I wonder if you had a couple of less questions if it still would have offered the same effect. It is usually best to remain concise in order to maintain the interest of the reader. On another note, as I got to the commentary of the family therapist, I was intrigued as to what answers were going to be provided. For the story, I love that you started off with a picture of the therapist, this gives the reader an image of what the therapist looks like before they begin the story. I think it is perfect to tell the background of the sage and how exactly that came to be. You did a great job constructing the story and allowing it to flow through dialogue. Great first story Bayan! I think the addition of the *knock knock* wrapped up the story nicely and gives a great transition into the next story. Great read!
Hey Bayan! I really like the background you used for your blog! I love all sorts of nature themes! The song is pretty good BTW. I will be using your blog as one of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteBayan, I really liked the layout of your storybook. I felt that the color contrasts and setup of your storybook provided a very clean site! I think it is awesome that you are making the original Ramayana. The questions at the beginning were an excellent way to setup the storybook. I had this same questions when I was reading the Ramayana. I personally did not like the way Sita and Rama did not end up together because I felt that the entire story was pointless. Furthermore, I thought it was a great idea to have a first person story of Doctor Valmiki talking about the issues of the Ramayana characters. I did not really think about Urmila after Lakshmana left with Rama but it is a great reminder. I was amazed that Rama’s brother would be so quick to go into exile so I was glad to read your story about Urmila and Lakshmana. Overall, I feel this is one of the best ways to relay the information from the Ramayana. I am looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHi love! I want to start of saying how much I love that our themes are the same. i mean I automatically went to this one and stuck with it because it's super girly and I love all the colors. I love the song you chose except the fact that Mina sings it all the time so now I'm kind of over it so I blame her:) Overall, you are one creative bee and I love all your stories because you really shine through as a writer as well as artist! Take care!
ReplyDeleteBayan,
ReplyDeleteI am here to comment about your music video. I really like this music video. I hear this song in the radio all the time while I am driving but never had a chance to watch the music video. I however did not imagine the music video to be the way it is when I was listening to this song every time. Thank you for sharing!
I hear this song come over the radio all the time and I always find myself singing along. It's a very catchy tune and it is easy to see why it is constantly playing. This was the first time I have seen the video though. I like how he inserts the segments of film about super heroes coming to the rescue into the original movie film. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI really love this song! No lie, the other day I heard it on the radio but I was to slow on getting my phone out and was not able to Shazam the song quick enough. Now it is saved on on Spotify Account! Thank you! It’s a very nice song and I like to listen to it when I get stressed!
Hi Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI actually heard this song on the radio for the first time today on my way back to Norman! I really liked it, and it was nice to hear it. I was excited to actually find out the name of it and who it was by because I wasn't paying too much attention when I was in the car.
Hey Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed watching and listening the music you posted on your comment wall. I have listened to this music before and it is on my playlist. Another thing, I brother at times sings this song. Nice one. This was a really nice song. Nice music and thanks for sharing.
Bayan, Although your storybook may not meant to be funny, I found it very humorous. Just thinking about Urmila and Lakshmana in family therapy was very amusing. Still, I believe the characters of the Ramayana are very much in need of therapy. The title of your storybook, Ramayana Counseling, Inc., was very catchy and clever and it is actually what drew me to check out your blog. The counseling session was actually one of my favorite storytelling posts that I wrote so I can see why you chose it! I love that you included the time of the appointment. These small details are what really bring a story to the next level. You use great vocabulary and put italics to great use in order to distinguish dialogue from narrative. Good choice! I cannot wait to read more of this satirical play on the Ramayana. I love how you ended your story with the *knock knock* - such a great literary device to use sound for emphasis (note to self). I love that we learn so much from one another's stories!
ReplyDelete2. Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI am here to comment about your music video. I really like this music video. I hear this song in the radio all the time while I am driving but never had a chance to watch the music video. I however did not imagine the music video to be the way it is when I was listening to this song every time. Thank you for sharing!
HI Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI've never heard this song! From reading peoples comments, it seems to be playing on the radio. I am so out of touch with the latest music. D: I really like it. It is very uplifting. I am sure it will be stuck in my head all morning! Thank you for sharing your music with us.
Back again :)
ReplyDeleteThis time I am here to leave a comment about your storybook! I am not sure if you meant for your storybook to be funny, but it cracked me up. I haven't read a storybook that has made it like therapy and I loved that you thought of that! I like how the name of your storybook sounds like an official counseling center. It is awesome! I like how you have both narrative and dialogue in your story, but what really makes it great is that you used italics to distinguish the difference between the two. You have done a good job at creating continuity between the stories and connecting them. I like the design of your website too :) You're doing awesome! Keep it up!
Hi there, I wanted to leave you some comments about "Urmila and Lakshmana." Based off of the title, I was hoping that you would tell Urmila's story, and you did! I have read her story in another person's project, and I found it really fascinating. Your retelling is just as wonderful even though there is not as much information about the character Urmila.
ReplyDeleteI love how you began the story with a description of Valmiki and his thoughts. I am really curious to know more about the unusual beginnings that you mentioned in the story. Will you include any last words from Valmiki at the end of the storybook or in the other stories?
In regards to formatting, I appreciated that you italicized the character's dialogues. While I was reading, I could easily distinguish between the dialogue and the narration. Also, the picture at the beginning is a great way to set the scene of Valmiki's office.
Can't wait to see how Valmiki helps the other characters!
Hey Bayan, first off I just wanted to comment on the style and background of your storybook. Many of the storybooks I have gotten to see now are super extravagant and overwhelming, but I like the simplicity of yours. I don't get sensory overload when I attempt to read the story which is a plus. I like the extra detail we obtain about the retelling of the story in your project. I liked hearing about Valmiki's thoughts, ideas, and surroundings. In addition, I thought the image you included with your story was perfect and fitting. I like it when people carefully pick which picture they included in their story as it can really help me as a reader envision his entire character. All in all, I enjoyed this story about Valmiki and look forward to more of your postings. I will also take note of the design of your storybook when I take Laura’s other class, Myth-Folklore. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteI chose your storybook to look at this week as my free choice from the "other" class so I went into your storybook with little background in Indian stories. Despite this, your introduction has captured my attention and my imagination and I really look forward to reading more (I am writing comments after every section so I have yet to read the story). As a psychology major, your concept caught my attention and made me laugh a bit. Well done on picking a fun and captivating storytelling topic!
I love that you decided to highlight some of the lesser known characters in your first story. I really enjoy it when people expand on characters that normally get brushed over and I could tell you took care to research these characters so that you could capture what they would be feeling during the session. I like your writing style, and I hope to come back when you have new stories to read!
My favorite storybooks are the ones that make me feel like I'm reading something Im'm not supposed to, like it's gossip or just plain none of my business, so your storybook fits the bill exactly! I love the idea of taking something kind classic and changing it around to make the characters and plot more interesting for a modern audience, and your writing does a super great job of this. I read the Urmila and Lakshmana story, and I liked it right off the bat! I loved how you made it seem so realistic and like it was just any normal day, except today they had therapy. I really like when stories are told in an everyday manner so that I feel like I could easily become a part of the story if I just walked into the setting. I can't wait to read more of you storybook as the semester progresses!
ReplyDeleteI know I keep coming back, but I really do enjoy your storybook! It's pretty dang awesome. This time I read Sita and Rama. I am quite happy to see them in therapy. Man, do they have some serious relationship issues involving trust. You did an awesome job at making me feel sad for Sita when she was traumatized by being kidnapped and then Rama not trusting her. Did you want Rama to just feel regret immediately because Sita was so sad? I think it would be a little more spicy or interesting if you added a bit of anger on Sita's side. I mean, who wouldn't be angry if your husband is treating you like crap. But, your storytelling is so dang realistic and I love that I can read the thoughts, too. I feel like i'm just sitting in the therapy session with them. You're doing an amazing job and I'm more than sure I'll be back to read more if you write any more stories. Keep up the awesome work! It is really paying off in the stories you write in your storybook.
ReplyDeleteHi Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI like how you used your introduction to highlight all of the unanswered questions from the Ramayana. I wondered many of these myself, so I am glad you are taking the time to give your idea about what may have occurred. The counseling approach seems like a great way to explore these questions.
I read your story of Urmila and Lakshmana, and was very impressed at how well you described the scene of a therapy session. The whole conversation was very believable and engaging. I had always wondered about Urmila and Lakshmana's relationship, especially since there was a reference that Rama had made about Lakshmana being unwed when he was being harassed by Shurpanakha. The knocking at the door was a great cliff hanger and makes the reader want to read the next installment. This was a very well written story and I was happy to read it.
I love your concept of your story! I too had a lot of unanswered questions from the Ramayana. Your introduction was done so well, and made me want to read your stories. I also thought that your idea was so cool. Like, I thought it would be great to see the characters in therapy. You have a great grasp of your characters. I think you did a really great job. Your dialogue was skillfully done. I also thought that your cliff hanging ending was so great! I really enjoyed your Storybook and I'll have to come back and read more of your stories. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI love this story! I love the way you altered the ending to create a happier ending. I feel the same way you did. I actually created a story (not included in my storybook) in which they actually end up together. The end is very romantic! I can picture it clearly! I also like how you put it in a forgiveness from Rama. In the original story I thought that Rama was a bit of a jerk for just pushing her away. I feel like after all they went through she deserved much more than just a push put of his life. I also like how you made this into a therapy session. After all it would not be such a bad idea for them to actually go through therapy! I also love the image you used! The couch on the image actually looks like the ones you see in movies when people go in for therapy.
Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI like how you start off your introduction giving the reader a little background of where this storybook is going to go, without being obvious. This is very helpful to me since I am from the Myth and Folklore class. Your introduction was amazing! I really feel like I know just enough about the history of these two families to be able to follow along and connect the dots. I kind of got the sense and feel that this introduction was adding up like a reality show pilot show. Something like “Family Counseling: Royalty Edition”, and Dr. Valmiki is the celebrity therapist, making all the big bucks. I look forward to reading more and I know that there will be a lot of drama to come. Great job with the introduction! I’m looking forward to reading and hearing more from Dr. Valmiki and the two complicated families. Great job, again!
Sidenote: I love the picture that you have on your introduction page. Makes me get a nice vibe and flashback to the early 2000's and watching MTV's cribs and Harry Potter. Great times, kids these days will never know! (:
ReplyDeleteBayan,
ReplyDeleteI like how I can see what Dr. Valmiki looks like and what the feel of the environment and background is going to be throughout the story. I was wondering if this was going to be based in present day, or if it was going to set up more so in older times. Looks like I’ve got my answer. I am going to leave live comments below as I read your story. Hopefully you will be able to follow along.
He looked around him briefly before smiling slightly, recalling just how he got to this point in his life.
-- yay, a little background of the great doctor.
Becoming a family therapist would allow him to help others going through difficult times realize that there is always hope for better things ahead.
-- That’s great that he decided to turn his life circumstances and blessings into a way to give back and help others.
Urmila couldn’t help but smile as she responded. “Yes, we were married on a lovely, sunny afternoon with my sisters, Sita, Mandavi, Shrutakirti, and their husbands next to us. It was really such a memorable day.”
-- Great visual effect. I totally saw her smirk in my head as she reflected on her happy day.
I loved the rest of the story, I felt like I was there and I also felt like this sesson was going somewhere for the two of them. Perfect ending with the *knock, knock* at the end. We know who that is.
Hello, Bayan!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the premise of your storybook! I have seen examples of therapy themed projects in the past, and I think you executed yours really well. Your introduction did a great job of setting up the rest of your stories, and I was really excited to see that you were using Valmiki as a narrator.
Your first story was excellent! I thought it was neat that your story was third person, making a shift from your introduction. I liked the framed feeling of the narrative. Likewise, your narrative flowed smoothly, helped along by wonderful descriptions and word choice. It was cool to see some focus put on Laskshmana and Urmila. I completely missed her mention in the Ramayana (I wasn’t a huge fan, so I didn’t read incredibly carefully), but I did get to see her a little more in Arni’s the Missing Queen. The connection between them was palpable in your writing, and you did a really good job of making it believable. You’d make a great therapist! Overall, I genuinely enjoyed your storybook! I will absolutely be back to read more!
Hi Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI read your first story a little while ago, so I had to come back to check out your next instalment. You seamlessly transitioned from Valmiki’s counseling of Lakshmana and Urmila to that of Rama and Sita. I was also put off by how Rama rejected Sita in the original story because he was pressured into doing so. I thought that Rama should have shown more compassion towards the love of his life, especially since she was taken against her will. But I guess that was just how things were back in ancient India. You did a great job in creating a “happily ever after” ending that the couple so rightly deserved. Just like the first story, I love how you capture the feeling of a real life counseling session. Also, your transitions are very well done. Now I want to know who just arrived for the next session. Are Lakshmana and Urmila still going to be a part of the next story?
Bayan,
ReplyDeleteGreat job so far on your storybook. I really like it! You are one hundred percent correct. The reader most definitely does not get any of the emotional side of the characters. That was probably one of the biggest things I didn’t like about the epics we read. It just seem like in two lines something drastic happened and there was no reaction from the characters. So I really like how you are giving us that side of the story.
I do have a few things to note. I feel as though your introduction is a little redundant. You have the paragraph asking all the question but then the therapist sort of asks them a second time. Maybe you could have the whole introduction be the therapist speaking? That way you could cut back on the things you said twice. Another small thing you could do to the first story is put the picture somewhere in the middle of the text where appropriate. That way there isn’t just a huge block of text the reader is reading.
Really good job!
Hello Bayan, I decided to come back to your storybook this week for my free choice, and I was not disappointed. I read your second story today and I was so drawn in that you had my heart breaking with the characters' a little bit (in a good way). This story is extremely well done, and the counseling format really allowed it to shine. I liked that you were not afraid to deviate from the originally ending and make the story go how you wanted it to. I really appreciate the creativity and boldness that it takes to do so! I do think it would be nice if you expanded this story a little bit. The session seemed to flow a little too easily which made it slightly harder to believe. The ease does kind of fit the situation though, so not bad if you do not change it, just a suggestion. Overall well done and I look forward to coming back and reading your next story next week.
ReplyDeleteHi Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI decided to read the story Dasharatha’s wives. I loved this story and let me say this again, I love how you use the therapy style format for writing your stories. I have done a couple of these story formats myself. I have never really focused much of my attention on Kaikeyi until I read your story. I like how you changed it to where she is no longer seen as a bad character. I also like how you drew emphasis on her mother instincts. It is the perfect excuse to give her cause a significant reason for doing what she did. I like the image you used. I like how the image looks more like a realistic image rather than a cartoon. It gives your story a more up to date story. It makes it easier to actually imagine the therapy session happening in real life. Overall loved your story!
Hi Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI chose your blog as a free choice this week. It was a great choice. It was very interesting. I read the first entry about Lakshmana and Urmila. I am glad you gave a little more information about Urmila. I didn’t find too much about her throughout the original Ramayana reading, she just kind of feel off the radar. Thanks for shedding a little light on her character. I am interested to see how the session went with the other family members. I will finish those readings in the last weeks of free choice. I liked the image you chose for the therapist. He looked wise and seemed liked he had an understanding disposition. The only thing I could offer is if you had to add another story you could have the four brothers all in for a therapy session. I’m sure each of them could benefit from a counseling session. Excellent work!
Hello Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story of Ramayana Counseling. I enjoyed reading those kind of stories because I find these creative. I chose your story as one of my free choice because I found the topic interesting. It was nice how you came up with so many different questions. I also had many question from the Ramayana. I found the background of the story very cool and the theme itself was good too. I really like the song that shared with us. Great choice. In addition to that, I have that song on my playlist now, no joke. Overall, you did a good job on connecting your stories together that was a really nice idea. I did like the creativity of the design as well. You did a great work, keep it up. I am looking forward to read more of your stories. Thanks for sharing. Good work, Bayan.
Hi Bayan,
ReplyDeleteI had to come back and read some more of your stories. I like how you are focused on the Rama and Sita stories and what revolves around them. I like to read your stories because it gives me so many different ways to picture them and all the other characters. I love it. This week I read Urmila and Lakshamana. I wanted to read this one because I honestly do not remember who Urmila was. When I found out that Urmila was actually Lakshamana’s wife I got more idea to create stories! I enjoy focusing on characters that do not really receive much attention. This would have been an interesting story to talk about. They are one of the most forgotten couples in the story! I feel like a lot of the info about Urmila that I know has just came from your story. Overall amazing story!
Hi Bayan! I decided to come back and reconnect with you because you’re an amazing writer! Your stories were awesome this semester! You are also an awesome friend. I actually have gotten to meet you in person and you are an awesome person. Keep up your cool writing skills. I hope to stay in contact with you. The imagery you used was also amazing!
ReplyDelete